Monday, August 3, 2015

Mother and teenage daughter relationship!



That's the only word I can think of at the moment, I'm absolutely shattered and heartbroken, sad, confused and just don't know how to deal with it.

Don't get me wrong, I know I'll be fine, there are millions of mothers out there doing this every single day, dealing with hormonal teenage daughters and sons, and they do just fine.  I know I'll be ok, I know I'll get through, but for this moment in time, the issues seem insurmountable.

It's hard folks, and for those of you with little ones, trust me, it's nothing like you ever imagined, matter of fact, think of the worst it could be and times that by a thousand.

In my attempt to keep it real here on my blog, and you know I've always shared my life with you, my thoughts and opinions etc, I wanted to talk, vent, let it out and maybe even get some advice from you out there who have been through it.

When your children are little, you look at them and they have all this love in their eyes, they run up to you and wrap their little arms around your neck, kiss you, tell you they love you and will never be mean to you, and you believe it.  Wholeheartedly believe it!!!

Those moms dealing with unruly teens?  That's not you.
Those moms dealing with the I hate you's?  Nope, that is never going to be me.
Those moms complaining of the daily fights with their teenagers?  That's not going to be my precious child, she's too sweet and she loves me so much.

And then you blink and you find yourself standing in the kitchen with a 16 year old before you, arms folded across the chest, eyes rolling and major attitude coming at you like waves from a tsunami.  It's quite confusing at first, you wonder where that all came from, and where is the sweet little red head that you could have sworn was just kissing you the day before.

As a mother, there is nothing worse than the look of disdain from your own children, hearing them smart mouth you, tell you that they know better, that they don't want to discuss this any further, it's quite shocking at first.

Your first instinct is to not say anything that will make them hate you, really, it is.  But just as quickly as that thought comes, another creeps in, and that is the one that tells you that YOU are the parent and not them and that they may hate you right now but one day they will understand and thank you.  Oh how many times I heard that from my own parents and I reacted the exact same way my daughter did, thinking "Oh please, whatever, so dramatic".

I'm at a point where as much as I love her, I don't like her very much at times.....let me rephrase that, I love her with all my heart, but don't like some of the things she does.  That's better!!!

She has a boyfriend, they've been together over a year.  I get it, I was 16 once, I had a boyfriend who I was completely in love with, anything my parents said that interfered in any way with that was frowned up and hated by me, and I jumped to his defense like a lioness defending her cubs.  I never once stopped to think about how that made my parents feel, not once, not until I was on the receiving end and it hurts, and it's frustrating, and guess what?

It's normal!!!!  Yep, it's absolutely normal and that is the part of this that sucks.  If it wasn't normal it would mean that I could find a solution for this, like a special pill I could pop that would stop all this in it's tracks.  But there isn't, the only way to get out of this is to go THROUGH it, and that is a hard pill to swallow.

Most days I'm fine, I can deal with the attitude, then there's days like today where I'm feeling especially emotional, missing my great grandmother and grandmother terribly and any little thing sets me off.  So I have zero patience and zero tolerance for insolence and I could care less how upset she gets that I pull the wifi.

Does it make me a terrible mother?  In her eyes, I'm sure it does.

Thing is, I'm not here to please her, or anyone else, or make her life easy.  I'm here to mother her, protect her, shelter her and give her the tools she needs to get out there in this horrible crazy world and survive.  No one is going to make things easy for her, no one is going to give her hand outs, no one is going to care if she is too tired from being up too late, or too lazy to clean her room, no one.....because in the end, as always, the only people who will always be there will be us, her parents.

I'm so tired, so incredibly tired and my heart hurts, we've fought so much today, she's said things, I've said things, tempers flared, voices were raised and tears where shed on both parts.  And then 2 hours later she says "Momma, I love you so much".  My heart melts, the anger subsides and all that is left is this feeling of being drained.

Tomorrow, we'll be back at it over something else I'm sure, or maybe we won't.  That's the thing, with teenagers you never can tell, and Jasmine and I have always had a very close relationship, but the past 2 months it's been extremely strained and I think it's part due to me not wanting to let go as she grows up, and her trying to exert her independence.

I pray, so fervently for the Lord's guidance through this, because I know that without Him, I will fall and stumble and do it all wrong.  I am after all just a human, a simple mom finding her way through this teenage maze and hoping, just hoping and praying that I come out the other side unscathed.  Oh I'm sure I'll have a few battle scars, but for the most part, I'm hoping to survive it.

Wish me luck!!!

{ Happy Homemaker Monday - 08/03/2015 }

Happy Monday everyone, hope you had a wonderful weekend and are ready for the week ahead.  I have quite a busy few days to look forward to in preparation for the reunion next week.  It's going to be chaotic, just hope I have the energy to keep going and get everything done.

Are you ready for another Happy Homemaker Monday?

On the weather front:
Woke up this morning to rain, didn't even know it was raining but it was a nice surprise, looks like we'll have a nice cozy day.  Cloudy tomorrow and then sunshine the rest of the week leading up to my birthday.  Sounds pretty good to me :)

On my bedside table:
A Pattern of Lies by Charles Todd
The Ones we Trust by Kimberly Belle

On my TV:
This weekend I binge watched Beyond Scared Straight with the family.  I love my kid's reactions, they are so scared of going to jail and that's a good thing to me, might make them think twice about doing dumb things in the future.  Here's what is on my watch list at the moment:

Vlogs - The Witt family, The Michalaks, Mrs Meldrum
Period Drama - Life in Squares, Poldark
TV - The Whispers, Beyond Scared Straight, Ghost Adventures

On the menu for tonight:
Roast Chicken, Potatoes, Carrots

On the menu for this week:

Monday - Roast Chicken, Potatoes, Carrots
Tuesday - Spaghetti Bolognese, Garlic Bread
Wednesday - Pork Chops, Homemade Fries, Broccoli
Thursday - Fish Sticks, Tomato Rice
Friday - Steak Pie
Saturday - Chicken Korma, Rice
Sunday - Homemade Pizza

On my To Do List:
Laundry - Jasmine and Nick's Bed Linens
Mopping and Vacuuming
Paint table legs

New Recipe I tried last week:
Actually it was last night, I made a traditional British Toad in the Hole and the family loved it.  Recipe coming up later on the blog.

In the craft basket:
At the moment, a blanket I just started last night.  I've missed crocheting and haven't had much time to indulge in this favorite hobby of mine, so last night while watching TV with the family, I pulled out my basket and jumped right in.

Looking forward to:
Everything and nothing in particular, if that even makes sense?  Kind of leaving this whole week up to whatever I get done, which needs to be a bit, but I'm not going to say I absolutely will do it because if I don't I will be quite frustrated with myself.  Actually, looking forward to our last full week of summer break before school starts next week.

Homemaking Tip for this week:
I keep hangers in my laundry room, and as certain items come out of the dryer, I immediately hang them up.  For example, hubby's work shirts and pants, saves me from having to iron a crumpled mess later on.

Favorite photo from last week:

Lesson learned the past few days:
As hard as the teenage years are, they're harder if we fight every single step of the way.  I have learned that there are things I absolutely will not budge on as a parent, but there are others that I clearly remember doing as a teenager myself and it's a bit hypocritical of me to not expect my own children to do. 

On my Prayer List:
This beautiful country that seems to be smack dab in the middle of a spiritual battle.
My Lola who continues to have seizures, I may need to give her the full dose but it makes her very tired and not herself.
My children, that this new school year is their best one yet
My husband, that he continues to enjoy his work
Myself, for health and courage and for a heart filled with love so that I can continue being the wife, mom and friend that I need to be 

Devotionals, Scripture Reading, Key Verses:

Sunday, August 2, 2015

My Saturday

Crazy weeds

My morning started with a 7am wake up call from Miss Lola having a seizure.  her seizures have become more frequent she is now averaging one a month and I'm hoping and praying that it stays like that.  I do have to get her to the vet soon because she's almost out of her Phenobarbital.  After that crazy start to my morning, I got dressed, had some coffee and then grabbed my grocery list and headed to base.  I have been there many times with hubby but never by myself and it's usually a little intimidating heading to a new base without knowing where anything is.

I did ask the gate guard where the commissary was and then ended up driving right past it LOL  Oh my!!!

But, now it's out of the way, I know exactly where to go and I can get my shopping done when I need to without having to wait on Curt to take me.

Came home, got the groceries put away, ran up to Whataburger for some lunch and then proceeded to move on with housework, laundry and putting some finishing touches on some rooms.  I still have not put everything exactly as I want it, and I think it's the first time that I have ever moved into a home and not unpacked and organized within a few weeks, then again it's the first time that I've moved into a place near all the family and had family at the house on a constant basis, which doesn't really give me much time to get my life in order, so to speak.


Living room window

The rain started pouring the minute I got home and it remained all day long, couldn't be happier.  The house took on a cozy warm glow, lamps were turned on, candles were lit and we all enjoyed the thunder and the constant pouring outside.

Living room window

While the laundry washed, I got to work on a few projects.  I still hadn't finished the family room, I think because I was a little unsure of what I wanted to do with it, you know how I feel about the paneling in there, but I decided that it will be perfect for a primitive/colonial look.

I don't have many things yet, but what I do have I got up and already I'm loving the room more.  Can't wait to add more touches here and there.

Working on house

I hung this shelf on one of the bare walls and added a few bits here and there, still need more but I'm thinking I need a trip to my local Goodwill soon.  It's been years since I've been to one, last time it was back in Arizona.

Family Room

Love it!!!

Family Room

Rearranged the fireplace area, added a few things and removed some and am completely in love with it. Makes the room so homey.


Added these two to the entrance to my kitchen, thinking of hanging some herbs from the bottom one, not sure yet, or maybe some vintage towels.

Crochet shelf

One of my favorite ways to spend my weekends is puttering around the house and it felt so lovely to be able to do that, to not have to worry about hosting family, or cooking big meals, just doing what I felt like and relaxing.

I watched shows, I changed out bed linens, I sat on Pinterest for an hour or so getting ideas and I planned our upcoming family reunion, which by the way, if I hadn't mentioned yet, is going to be hosted at OUR house.  Oh my!!!

Over 20 people, every bedroom and sleeping surface taken, breakfast, lunch and dinner for everyone.  I am sure it will be fun but I'm dreading it too and hoping my house doesn't get completely trashed.

So today is Sunday, and I've done nothing so far but sat down in the living room with my hubby watching TV.  We've been indulging in Beyond Scared Straight, which I absolutely love, and not really doing anything other than talking, relaxing and enjoying shows.  Sometimes you need a down day, a day of just being lazy and we don't get that very often around here.

I hope you're having a wonderful weekend so far and that it helps recharge you and get you ready for the work week ahead.  We have school starting on the 12th of August so only really a week and half left before the school year is under way.  I can't believe how fast this summer has gone.

Right, I have to get the pizza out of the oven and get back to my show, hubster is waiting.

Friday, July 31, 2015

{ Friday's Letters }

Friday's Letters

Dear body::::
I know you're not feeling 100% and I'm sorry for whatever I did to bring this upon you.  I have tried to make you feel better but you are not healing as fast as I would like, for that I apologize, I guess I'm just antsy.  I promise to continue trying my best and to be patient.

Dear Curtis::::
I'm so proud of you, you do so much for us as a family and you work hard every single day to provide.  I know you are loving your new job and being around the jets again, and for that, I'm truly thankful.  God has blessed you tremendously.

Dear Jasmine::::
I know you're 16 and I know you're supposed to *know it all* and think that at times I'm just nagging, but sweet girl, slow down, take your time growing up, and try to remember that everything you're going through, I've been through too.  I promise not to smother you, and I promise to let you find your way on your own, but I am your mother and I WILL be there every step of the way, guiding you and advising you whether you like it or not.

Dear Nicholas::::
Where did my little chubby cheeked baby boy go?  You tower over me, you lift me up with such ease and you are sporting the start of a mustache.  I can't even with this, I'm not ready to have no little ones around me anymore.  You're such a sweet heart though, but I could do without the attitude at times, I know, puberty and growing up is not easy, but again, mom and dad have been through it and we're just here to help.

Dear Lola::::
I love you, you're my sweet little pug, even though you can be quite ornery at times.  I'm sorry you still have to deal with seizures once in a while, I wish there was a magical word or medicine that could take them away forever, but since there isn't, just know that I will be there holding you and making you as comfortable as possible when they happen.

Dear Bella::::
Oh my sweet Bella, you are getting so old.  You're trying so hard to keep going and do the things you've always done, but I see you struggling at times.  You are still such a happy dog and thankfully not in pain, though I know that your much slower than you used to be and it frustrates you at times.  I don't like the pee all over the house, but you can't help it, and I guess it's time to look into some doggie diapers, but just know we love you so much and can't imagine our lives without you.

Dear weather::::
You're nuts, that's all I really can say.  I have enjoyed the whiplash of sun and rain, and humidity and dryness, just wish you would make up your mind.  Pick one, stick with it.  Ok?

Dear house::::
I am still loving you, still enjoying waking up every morning in this beautiful area and smiling at the land before me.  I however have a request....could you try, just really try to not let any scorpions in???  I promise to keep you clean if you can do that for me.

Dear me::::
Saved the best for last, I guess.  You're awesome, you're strong, you're loving and kind and generous and you take yourself too seriously at times, you can be your worst critic and often worry too much about what others are thinking about you.  Life is to be lived, start living it, stop worrying, stop trying to control, and guess what?  Be who you are, if you want to be nice then be nice, and if someone has a problem with it or doesn't return the feelings, let it go, it's their loss.

Thursday, July 30, 2015

{ Random Thoughts }

White tail Dragonfly

What did I do with all my shower curtains? :::::
No really, where did they disappear to?  I had at least 4 different ones but when I went to change out the one in the master bathroom, I had none.  I'm honestly confused, did I leave them behind in Idaho?  Why would I do that, it makes no sense and I could have sworn I packed everything. The hunt for the elusive shower curtains will continue.

Sand spurs hurt :::::
I mean like really hurt, the kind where you find yourself biting your tongue or letting out a long list of expletives because you stepped on one and jump up only to land right on it again and further digging it into your toe.

Kinda missing the rain :::::
Apparently I'm never happy because when it rains I complain about the humidity and when it doesn't I complain that I miss it.  We're very unhappy humans in general, aren't we?

Bacon Cheddar Burgers or Chicken Spaghetti for dinner? :::::
That was the debate in my brain for a good hour and a half, but I settled on the burgers because I'm really fancying one at the moment.  So burgers it is, Chicken Spaghetti will be this weekend some time because tomorrow night we're having Chinese which we've all been craving.

I hate dark circles under the eyes :::::
It runs in my family, really it does.  My grandmother, father, older brother have very pronounced dark circles and I do too and it's annoying because even if I've had good sleep I still look half dead.  I need a really good concealer.

Dishes in the sink :::::
It's always such a great idea the night before when you're tired from the day and just want to relax.  You leave the dinner dishes soaking overnight and tell yourself it won't be that bad in the morning, and then you wake up, walk in there and want to cry.

Scorpions :::::
That's 2 we've killed in the house so far, always going under the same couch.  Where are they coming from, how are they getting in and how can I get them to go away?  I'm so scared it will sting one of the dogs or kids.

School starts in less than two weeks :::::
Can you believe that?  And I'll have a kid in 11th Grade and one in 7th Grade.  How is that even possible, where has the time gone?

I'm out of dog treats :::::
I use them to give Lola her medicine and to treat the girls too.  I wanted to make them some but I don't have anything on hand because I have to go grocery shopping tomorrow.  I guess a slice of ham will suffice.

So many good Period Dramas :::::
There are so many good on right now, I don't know where I'll ever find the time to watch it all.  Today I'm going to watch the first episode of Partners in Crime, which is based on Agatha Christie's work.  Also Life in Squares looks very good.  Coming up very soon is The Scandalous Lady W. and I'm really looking forward to that one which stars Natalie Dormer as Lady Worsley.

Need to get off here but don't want to :::::
I should be doing laundry, or looking for the shower curtains, maybe even washing the 3 dishes left in the sink, but I don't feel like it.  I'm feeling extremely lazy this afternoon, and I think it's because I'm so tired.

Maybe I'll get some sleep tonight :::::
Bella is getting old folks, like really old and so she's become like a baby and wakes us up throughout the night.  It's frustrating and Curt and I are both walking zombies at this point, especially when 5am comes around so fast.  I'm just hoping to get some good sleep tonight because I found myself actually nodding off to la la land while sitting here at the laptop.  Oh boy!!!!

What about you?  Any random thoughts today?

Monday, July 27, 2015

{ That trip to Dallas }

Trip to Dallas

So Saturday early afternoon, we took off to Dallas, it is just 2 hours from us, but still a bit of a drive.

I don't mind getting there, I mind BEING there because if you've ever driven in Dallas then you will completely understand what I'm talking about.  Not fun, not in the least, matter of fact, quite annoying.  We saw multiple accidents, came to complete stops on the highway also multiple times and it took us an hour to get from our cousin's house to the concert.......a 15 minute drive away.

By the time we arrived, I was so done.

The concert itself was absolutely brilliant, my daughter cried her eyes out when Fall Out Boy hit the stage.  To say she loves them is an understatement, she has been in love with this band for many years and to actually see them live was a dream come true for her.  So glad I was there to share in it with her.

Right after the concert, on the way home, we came upon an In-N-Out Burger place.  Yeah, almost 1am and we HAD to get their cheeseburgers animal style.  Perfect ending to a perfect night.

Regrowing celery

Sunday came about and I was kinda regretting the whole concert, but just in the sense that I've been really battling with my Sciatica for the past week and the whole time standing the previous night, just buggered it up something fierce.

I also seem to have caught something, not sure if I'm just tired, or what it is, but I feel absolutely dreadful and without patience or energy to do anything.  Problem is that I'm the type of gal who can't just sit back and do nothing because I tend to feel extremely guilty and then have to get up and go fix something, clean something, work on something.  Terrible!!!

I did try to take it easy yesterday, pretty much only got through the piles of laundry.


Tidied up the living rooms, and thankfully the rest of the house is clean and tidy so I didn't have to do anything else.

On a hot day

Everyone was taking it easy, no one wanted big meals, so we kind of snacked all day long.....or as I like to call it, we grazed all day long. It's fine by me, I love cooking but when I'm not feeling 100%, I couldn't be bothered with it and am quite happy just faffing around.


My lunch was quite literally, a Bud Light with Lime and some chips with Salsa con queso. Yum Yum!!!

I tried to go outside for a bit, but these guys.....these annoying guys are all over and I can't stand them. Worst is when the dogs track them in from going potty and you step on one barefoot.

Hate these things

I don't know what they're called, my husband calls them hijackers cause they just stick to all your pants and shoes and socks and whatever.  All I know is that they hurt something fierce when stepped on.

Fallen tree

I was actually trying to get out there to check this out.  One of our HUGE trees decided to fall from the front yard right over the fence into the back.  It is huge and we can't move it, so I need to call the realtor and have them send someone.

The trunk itself is double the size of my husband.  I'm so glad my dogs were not out there when it came down.  Goodness!!!

Anyway, I'm going to try and take it easy today, I don't feel well, so we'll see how it all goes.  I kind of want to take my Motrin but it usually makes me sleepy and I don't want to do that when hubster is at work.

I better get off here, hope you all have a fantastic Monday!!!

Happy Homemaker Monday - 07/27/2015

Good morning everyone, hope you've had a fantastic weekend.  Mine was pretty darn good, I took Jasmine to a Fall Out Boy concert in Dallas and we had an amazing time.

Unfortunately I seem to have picked up something because last night I felt absolutely dreadful and still not feeling 100% today.  Not sure what is going on, but hoping it's just something temporary.

Right, on to our Happy Homemaker Monday.....

On the weather front:
We've been seeing triple digits, which is not bad considering we lived in Arizona for 7 years, so 're quite used to this heat.  Just leave the humidity out and I'm good.  We do expect some rain on Friday though and lower temps.

On my bedside table:
A Pattern of Lies by Charles Todd
The Ones we Trust by Kimberly Belle

On my TV:
Been watching my vlogs, I have followed The Witts for a long long time, and they are my favorite vloggers, but recently discovered The Michalaks and am completely besotted with their videos, the editing is out of this world, so I've been binging from their very first vlog.  Another favorite of mine is Mrs Meldrum.

On the menu for tonight:
Smoked Sausage and Potato Skillet with Green Beans

On the menu for this week:

Monday - smoked Sausage and Potato Skilled with Green Beans
Tuesday - Biscuits and Gravy
Wednesday - Bacon and Cheddar Burgers, Fries
Thursday - Hamburger Helper, Salad
Friday - Grocery shopping
Saturday -
Sunday -
On my To Do List:
Laundry - One load of towels, Jasmine's laundry, Nick's laundry
Mopping and Vacuuming

New Recipe I tried last week:
I love Coconut Macaroons and over the years I've tried numerous recipes which never seemed to quite come out well.  I just recently came across one that I tried last week and it was so good, I'll be sharing it on the food blog soon.

In the craft basket:
Ripple Pillow
Foam Armor for Jasmine's cosplay

Looking forward to:
A relaxed week, getting some things done in the house and hopefully making a quick trip to Lawton this weekend. 

Homemaking Tip for this week:
I have a notebook that I use just for meal planning and grocery shopping.  I write down the menu on one page and the grocery list on the opposite page, and I take the notebook with me to the grocery store, just seems to help.  Also, I can flip back through previous menus for ideas.

Favorite photo from last week:

Lesson learned the past few days:
We're only as old as we allow ourselves to be

On my Prayer List:
Myself, for strength, for health and for my heart not to turn bitter towards certain people
My family

Devotionals, Scripture Reading, Key Verses: